What Is Your Criteria For Choosing A Sperm Donor?
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She had me all the way to the very end when she hollered ” and you better act right!”, in context of her child knowing the sacrifices she made to bring them into the world.
Ya’ll please understand, kids owe parents NOTHING for being born. For being loving, guilding, protective parents…sure. But the sheer act of birth is a decision ya’ll make before the child has literally taken their 1st breath.
it was a joke.
@The EntrepreneuHER maybe it was a joke, but a lot of women always blaming their children for not losing their baby fat. ? when it was those creamy thighs that got them heated for the male organ.
@The EntrepreneuHER So? I’m serious.
That part. Our kids owe us nothing. Not even “acting right”.
Na I owe moms everything for bringing me into this world respectfully
This conversation doesn’t apply to me because I have kids: 1 adult & 1 teenager but this conversation was very insightful & interesting. My heart goes out to all who don’t have any biological children but want them. ❤
@O I get your point but I got a mother and father.Both still married but the Men in my community/tribe we my father figures. Just because a dude is there doesn’t make them a “father figure” homie can be abusive or isn’t really present in the kids life at all. Having kids isn’t like buying a new toy I get the point it should be taken seriously if you are going to do it by yourself.
@TONTON Of course you are right but this child does NOT even get the choice to have a father present because the mother has taken that away and made that choice because SHE wants to. We need to take accountability for not even thinking about the childs interests and only think about our own.
@O choice to have a father present?? ?? since when does the baby have a choice in ANYTHING? Do you know how being a baby works? Being a child? Most of what happens in your youth and upbringing isn’t a choice lol you’re assuming the childhood can’t be great with just a woman. And she could get with someone afterwards, did you forget that?
@C BComprehension skills weren’t given to everyone clearly.
@O Y’all just mad because you can’t make her a single mom and instead of dealing with the stress of men, she just rather do without. Women are done?
I like Eboni as host. She is bold, intelligent, articulate, relatable and respectable. The chemistry seems to be good with the guys! I hope she can be hired on full time if she is interested!!
I definitely agree! We need Eboni as the permanent host!
She’s a little too serious
As a guy watching, I completely agree with you on this as well.
Yeah, she’s been great. Great, unforced chemistry between the three.
As an egg freezer myself and a long standing fertility advocate, I absolutely love this transparency and accurate information. She’s stating facts that hopefully will help inform those on a fertility journey now and/or later. Information is powerful, and whatever choice you make is YOURS❤
same.
What a lot of people don’t realize is this is happening everyday. Some “fathers” are just that, sperm donors and are no where to be found for the emotional well being of the child. So the male figure role is outsourced to a uncle or friend. Then we judge these mothers and say they should have choose better. In this case, she observed her surroundings and decided how she wants to navigate it.
Farther trauma is real get therapy it’s not like this for all of us
The the picking are slime ah
?
I’m sorry but those who don’t know love shouldn’t have kids. You going to raise kids who will go on to be single parents or adore toxic relationships. Listen, how about you just find a good guy and settle down. Every route is tough, just find love and settle down
This is spot on…men always say “choose better” she’s making a better choice and it still seems to be an issue.
I find this so fascinating. I plan to adopt, but considered freezing my eyes in my 20s. People always shame women for using donors, but what’s the alternative if you’re getting older, haven’t found a partner, and want a child? I know many women in their 40s and 50s who have resigned to not being mothers and it takes an emotional toll.
Why would you freeze your EYES? ??
I dont know if it’s ethically right. Seems almost selfish to purposely put a child in the situation of having a single parent.
@CoKo A keep that same energy for women and men sleeping with any and everyone one without making a thought out decision on who that person is and what it will be like for that future child , if one were to come from one of these hook ups.
At least when your choosing Sperm , your financially and emotionally ready.
You need her as a co-host. She balances you guys out well with the intellect and relatability to increase your audience.
I agree
As someone who’s also been looking into sperm donors this conversation is so refreshing to hear. Good for Eboni
So you want to be a single mother?
Me too!
@Jean-Paul Yes we rather choose that route instead of dealing with the wrong man. Women can’t have kids forever waiting around for Mr Right
@Oncode ok …that’s great for the women. I’m sorry not great but easier… What about the child ?
@Oncode poor kid. You can’t manage a relationship with a man. So, the alternative is to screw up a kid. By depriving the kid of balance, an having one parent this not the most intelligent way. You continue to pass on your inability to manage relationships to an impressionable child.
Excellent topic and discussion. Maybe a part two would prove enlightening and/beneficial for both sides of the argument. Nice job Breakfast Club! ??
We are in a time where wrong is right and right is wrong smh
I know. Too much coddling of black men on top of their inability and lack of desire to contribute positively to society. Involuntary celibacy among black men is increasing and it’s unfortunately leaving black women doomed to be unpartnered. I wish black women would consider partnering outside of their race…
@herhighness is it coddling and their inability to contribute or involuntary celibacy those don’t correlate. This has nothing to do with the women at all? It’s ALL on the men? …. Ok
And real is real
“I’d rather just go it alone”
Having money will make you think you can control everything around you, including what kind of child you’ll have, and that’s just so unrealistic.
what’s unrealistic about raising a child alone when millions of women do it everyday?
@A Libra Vibe Nothing but that’s wat she’s speaking too. She saying that having all that money can give a false sense of control
She didn’t say anything about controlling her child…she listed all the reasons she is going this route…she is not under a delusion that motherhood will be easy. There are thousands of single mothers doing a great job going at it on their own, instead of dealing with a man that will most likely leave them anyway.
She is saying she has a village.
@KOOLBOYSC1 What are y’all even talking about control for??♀️ she’ll have the SAME control every other single mother does. What is this false narrative that’s being created here? Geesh women choose to be single mother’s everyday knowing the father won’t be there and they don’t have a quarter of the ? that Ebony does and they’re fine.
Black sperm matters is a crazy statement ?
What future say “it’s crazy but it’s true” ?
“Bank Black” ??
Explain?
Love this convo, very seriously thinking about this for a few years down the line. The struggle is definitely real out here but you should certainly find a way to get what you want & can have.
I am a Single Mom by Choice, if you have questions let me know. I talk about all things related to becoming a solo mom using a sperm bank
@Start to Finish Motherhood sounds great do you have an instagram or something?
I do! @ starttofinishmotherhood
Please keep Eboni as the host! She’s intelligent, informative, funny, and can keep up with their banter. I love her! Y’all really don’t even need to test anyone else.
Regardless of gender, 2 parents are always better than one. Having said that, I personally know some incredible single moms who stepped up to the plate when their deadbeat guy decided to run like a selfish coward. As a male, that’s got to be one of the most emasculating things you can do. To quote my fellow Canadian Russell Peters, be a man.
Yes when her designer child grows up and sees all her friends with fathers, women like this will see that leaving her dynasty to charity or another well deserving family member or person was the better option. We’re here to make the world a better place and it’s selfish to think it has to be kept within your lineage, we’re all Gods children.
I think it depends on the parents.. Some people were better off with just one parent, of the other were fucked up emotionally and mentally
@_kae_mccray Yes, all people don’t need kids. But all kids need both parents. If you can’t start with this, do something else.
Let be real…some two parent house holds ain’t $hit.
I’m glad Eboni is talking about this. I have gone through this process and it would have been really helpful to hear this before I went through the process. I am pro-freezing your eggs and if you want- getting a sperm donor because it takes the pressure off you the woman and also your future partner. You aren’t pressuring him to have kids, there’s no ticking clock, you can just live your life. I would recommend all women freeze their eggs if they can (it’s an expensive process).
@Gritzzyy Let me clarify in regards to the future partner- I don’t think women should pressure men to have a child or try to trick them into having a kid. So freezing your eggs helps alleviate this pressure. Since your eggs are frozen, you have time to have kids later on in life if you want and don’t have to put pressure on your partner who may not be ready to have kids. That’s what I was saying. I don’t think it’s fair to put men under that kind of pressure but I don’t think it’s fair to have women just waiting around and the viability of their eggs declining because the man isn’t ready. Freezing your eggs avoids this situation.
True
Would you mind sharing your experience of how much the process costs? I really want to freeze mine, but I doubt I would be able to afford it
Wonderful conversation and yes all day to banking Black!! Thanks for spreading good information sis??
I need to find out where our sis got that sweatshirt ???
Thankful I grew up with my biological mom and dad in the same household ?? last of a dying breed fr
Yeah they held it down and sounds like Dad was a great example for Mom to stay and raise a grateful son❤️
Yea it’s becoming less common
100%!! I’m so grateful to have had that as well. I couldn’t imagine a life without them both. They were equally critical in my upbringing.
She said she’s going to “outsource” fatherhood for her child. I can’t believe these 2 men didn’t tell her that her black child deserves a REAL dad. SMH
The lady is 40. She waited long enough for a REAL dad for her child
@Jordana Palmer waited long enough?? How you know she hasn’t been turning down all the men sent to her. Doesn’t mean she never meets good men just because she’s single
@Jordana Palmer U think a childless, successful, famous woman that LOOKS? like her… can’t find a decent black man??? that is bullshit! She said that she didn’t want to negotiate with a man about how the child is raised! She is extremely selfish
@Teddy Digital TV How about the men she desires turned her down? More likely that was the case.
@Carl ?
I loved this segment, it was so informational. As a med student who loves all fertility talk, the disproportionate representation in sperm donors is some we don’t hear about at school. This is def something that should be spoken about.